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| Wow. Have I finally hit a turning point in my life? Will I change who I've become for the better or continue to stick myself in this hole of un-ending misery? I know I've wronged, but how do I fix that?
Do I really picture myself this way in five years?
So many questions, all without answers. All not wanting to be answered, too afraid of the truth.
Who is here to guide me to go my way? Why haven't they shown up yet?
I need someone. Truth is, I am falling apart. I wish so badly for someone to come and just pull me away from this mess I've made. Where is that someone?
The real truth is, dear, that you have no one. You only have yourself. The reality is that you are that someone to other people, but other people will never be that one to you.
How the truth hurts. | | |
| Wow. I haven't been here for ages. I have completely forgotten about Xanga, until now obviously. Xanga actually ended a friendship that I regret ending. Depressing isn't it? To have a friendship die through the internet. I mean it wasn't Xanga. It was me, but what can one do? Oh well. Life is life.
It's interesting to look back at the old posts and see how I was back then. How young and stupid I was. How young and stupid I am still.
Who am I now? What have I become?
I must say, I did not see myself here a two years ago. I have lost sooo much hair. Isn't that ridiculous? I went from a full and thick head of hair to a rope size head of hair. I think I'm just over-exaggerating. XP | | |
| wow, this weekend was a nice Akela. There was this scout with his grampa.. His grandpa was so cool and funny. I miss gramps now. He never visits me *tears* oh well, not like no one really does................. blah. I wanna leave and go far far away.. Stay at camp and not worry about what's up with life anymore........ Maybe I'll work fulltime next year too. But yeah, tomorrow major shopping day for me.. Need to restock on CLOTHES. I've decided that I'm not saving any money for Lee and them. I'll just use what I have when they come.. I'm not in a good mood right now. * more tears * Maybe it's reality REALLY hitting me hard and realizing that ... never mind. whatever. I'm tired. I need a hug.. but no one cares so.... whatever.. *tears* | | |
| AHHHH worries worries worries. i dont think i've lost any weight whatsoever. LOL weird when i think about it. but. oh well, I've been doing a TON of exercize.. oh well, I want a pile of things before school starts. I have everything planned out too. LOL
-- contacts
-- clothes
-- guitar
-- a new level of self esteem
I need to sleep....... i need to talk.. I need to.. do something.. bye! | | |
| I'm going back tonight! yay! i'm actually happy. I miss walking around a lot. So, bye ya'lls and I dont know yet if i'll come back next week. I'll think about it. BBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE! | | |
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